The time had come for the Annual Smeawood Forest Clean up session. During this festival, all residents would take part in keeping Smeawood Forest a more environmentally hygienic place to live in. After all, no one actually cleaned up for the rest of the year. So in essence, this festival was quite essential indeed, so that our favourite residents would not contract cholera or anything along those lines.

Peter blew the dust of his trusty vacuum, which had been left in a corner of his room to fester. Coughing as the dust settled, he wondered if it still worked. Peter walked past his slightly dented shoe rack, which proudly bore the imprint of Zhiyang's muscular shoulders.

"Ahhh yes, that one nite that Zhiyang was chasing after Alf the Fat Ass. It was also the same night that Zhiyang started to dress funny.... strange." Peter quipped to himself.

Plugging in his vacuum, the reluctant piece of equipment coughed and sputtered before throwing up whatever had been blocking its windpipe. "A hamster!" Peter exclaimed, as the just-as-surprised critter dusted itself off.

"Well, thanks alot moron. I was jus getting into a nap, you shit." Hamster retorted. In case you're wondering, yes, everything can speak in Smeawood Forest.. even the rats.

Peter recalled Chimpzzz borrowing the vacuum the previous clean-up and returning it, with a slightly guilty look on his face. Not long after, there was a report of a missing hamster. "And we all thought Sebby ate it.. guess we shouldn't have tried burning him at the stake then.." Peter reflected.

Giving the grumpy hamster a helpful kick in the ass out of the door, Peter made sure his vacuum was working before dragging it out into the square to meet up with the rest. Everyone was out in full force. The Twiddles had brought out their gloves (they looked very worn out), Zhiyang brought along his duster from Sellavision and Elizaberth had brought along Orlando.

"But i'm a highly paid actor! Top notch! I can't do manual labour!" Orlando tried reasoning with Elizaberth.

"Nonsense! You're not a top notch actor. Take away your elf ears and you look like a dweeb." Elizaberth addressed the only pertinent line in the complaint.

Guv'nor Wilson ascended the podium to give the opening address. "Ehhh.. mic on or not ah? Ok, today is once again our Annual Clean-up Day. So according to our Smeawood Forest tradition, we are supposed to clean up everything. Shut the fuk up lei, I haven't finish talking. U want to tio smack by my very long **** isit?"

The crowd applauded as they thought the Guv'nor appeared to have finished his speech. Not that anyone was listening in any case.. who the hell listens to these speeches?

"Guv seems to be quite agitated. Waving his arms around madly. Maybe we're not clapping loud enough." The clap increased, as did Wilson's obvious arm thrashing. Soon, the crowd tired and simply left Wilson on the stage.

"Well, we can't stand around clapping forever. There's stuff to be cleaned." Mama Nippola told her 3 midget followers.

"Yes Mama," the rest of Asscubed replied.

"Stop pursing your lips!" Mama screamed as she slapped Seoks into 1978. "Its not feeding time yet!"

And so the work began. This was no normal spring cleaning. THe residents of Smeawood would clean up until they were satisfied that the standard would last another year. This might take a day, or perhaps a week... depending on how much Sebby was around that year. And when everything was done, it cumulated into a bon-fire.. of all the junk that was thrown out that year.

First, the residents started moving junk out of their homes. Old lamps, furniture, worn out dolls, torn clothes and a whole lot more. Each home had their mound of rubbish on the front porch..

"Oh myyy gawwwwd!!" The scream pierced the business of the festival and everyone gravitated towards the source of the sound. They saw Yummy Mummy Lis hunched over her mound of trash, holding out a small parchment. Soon, a very concentric and orderly circle formed around her (you know how Singaporeans love forming circles around points of interests . ie accidents or when someone falls) Yummy Mummy nervously picked up the parchment and held it to the light.

"Nice. I like.. Looks like a map. But for what?" Jason the Slitty Eyed Chiby voiced on behalf of everyone, before lighting a Xiggy.

"Beats me... ask Sebb..." Brer Bear stopped mid-sentence, realising his folly at mentioning Sebby's name. He snatched the Xiggy from the Chiby's lips and sucked on it hard, looking around nervously.

Suddenly, a calm voice emerged from the crowd. "I think its time that you knew what this map leads to." It was Sebby, the only descendant of the ancient Chau Lau Tee Ko Tribe. Whilst his booming voice usually brought chaos to the situation, it was strangely grave and serious on this occasion.

"Back then, the ancient ones were very very competitive. This was because there was an annual competition. This was held between the best from different forests. Smeawood Forest was a force to be reckoned with back then. We either swept the events or came in the top 3. But the ancient Tee Kos believed that the winnings were due to the stringent following of the rituals and traditions. There were many ..."

Sebby's story was interupted by the Guv'nor trundling down the lane, demanding to know why everyone had stopped cleaning up. "EH CHEEE BYEEE!! Dun wan to clean isit? Later all tio cholera or Hep A, B, C then hong gan loh! NAA BEHHH!"

Upon which, Peter knocked him out cold to let Sebby finish the story.

"as I was saying, our ancestors won every damn competition there was to be won. And as you know, along with winning.. "

"Comes treasure..." PEter mumbled. Everyone's eyes grew sizeably bigger... except Jason.

"What. I'm trying." Jason said, as the obvious strain on his face was displayed for all.

"Nope. Not widening." Bear contributed. Jason gave up due to cramps.

"So this means that we have a map to the treasure in our hands?" Zhiyang speculated, taking the parchment from Yummy Mummy's yummy fingers.

"Yes," Sebby said. "My grandfather, Seb-bitch the 52nd, told me they had lost it during the Great Bear Rape of 1978." Seoks suddenly felt nostalgic, having been slapped back to that time by Mama Nippola. "Apparently, The Guv's grandfather was carrying it after the residents had just hid the stash, when he was knocked down by Bear's grandfater, who was fleeing from my grandfather. Then upon that, all our grandparents besieged Bear and the Guv'nor was caught at the bottom of it all. Its been speculated that the map had lodged itself in someone's ass crack and lost... until now."

"I guess that means we're going on a treasure hunt??" Peter said, as the crowd exploded with excitement.

"BUTTTTTT!!!!" Sebby shouted with authority. "The way will be littered with many traps and obstacles. Even monsters aroud some corners. For our ancestors were a careful bunch."

"We'll be ready for them." Peter replied confidently.The crowd rallied behind him and voiced their support.

Hence, they went back to equip themselves.. much like the hunt for the Slitty eyed Chiby. "Nice.. feels good to be on this side of the fence." Jason reflected as the party of villagers headed out into the woods.

So it was, Guv'nor Wilson leading the way, with Peter next to him, holding the map... becoz Wilson would probably get lost. Following that, came the entire village, for everyone wanted to be part of this momentual moment.

To be continued in next post.. this post is how long...