The Tree of False Hopes
Today was a special day for Peter. It was time to take his regular dose of False Hopes.. All excited, Peter donned a comfortable muscle-T, along with some loose berms. "Looks pretty gay... but hey, comfort above all else."
So Peter left his home and went to look for the only people who would understand his need for this dosage. Stepping out of his door, his took in a breath of fresh Smeawood Forest air. Ahhh..it was good to be alive... especially this week, since there were 2 public holidays.
"Good morning neighbour!" The Twiddles yelled, stepping out into the sun too, in their sheer negligees. (Ugh. Yes it pained me to say that..becoz it required a mental picture. Ha! Gotcha! You imagined it too!)
"Morning!!" Peter replied as he skipped off down his garden path. He could still see traces of puke from the Family Day drinking competition... Carefully sidestepping the puddles with the grace of a Para Para dancer of Plaza Singapura arcade, Peter managed to keep his new pair of sandals squeaky clean.
Walking down the street, it didn't take the ever-so-fit Peter long to reach his destination. Rapping on the door of the first house, he yelled "Wake up you idiot! I can hear u snoring from here!!!"
A sleepy Chimpzzz open the door, smacking his lips. "Hmmm..is today False Hope day again?" Snoring Chimpzzz asked as he wore his favourite NBS tee. "Yes it is. Quick! Itz already 8am. We still need to get 1 more person." Peter anxiously said, thwacking Chimpzzz on the head for good measure.
They hurriedly made their way to the next house. Screams of "Fire in the HOle" and "Go go go" became louder as they approached. "Sighh..at it again..." Snoring Chimpzzz said "and so fricking early some more." So the 2 tore the Sickly White Clownz away from his game of CS, not without much protest of course.
"You need more sun...u look like a corpse." Peter said.
"I do not! I happen to be a very useful glow in the dark beacon during blackouts!" Clownz protested.
"Whatever...anyway, we're here... up we go!" Chimpzzz said as he proceeded to climb the tree with unusual ease. Peter followed while Clownz rounded it up. They were almost at the top, when Chimpzzz couldn't resist stopping suddenly and allowing Peter to promptly stuff his face into Chimpzzz's ass-crack. After receiving the beating he so deserved, Chimpzzz emerged from the cloud cover.
(Allow me to take this time to describe how the Tree of False Hope works. People who've read Enid Blyton will recognise the blatant rip-off that we're using here, except we've got a way cooler name for it. Anyhooz... there is a land of fantasy at the top of the Tree. Every 24 hours, the land rotates and a new one takes its place. So it you're stuck in that land, then you've gotta wait until it comes back agian, which may never be the case. Now wouldnt' some of you like to be stuck in the Land of Skanks or the Brad Pitt Farm?)
So Chimpzzz emerged from the man-Hole like entrance, only to find himself surrounded by 4 walls of soil. "Hmmm..we seem to be stuck in a rut guys." Chimpzzz said as the other 2 proceeded to pull themselves up. He jumped up and caught the top of 1 side. PUlling his head up, Chimpzzz suddenly saw the sky go dark. He looked up and saw this gigantic foot coming down on him. Immediately, he let go, falling on the other 2. The giant foot came smashing down, covering the hole that the 3 were in completely, before moving off again.
The 3 stunned Smeawood-ians looked at each other, stunned into silence. Peter finally spoke up. "I think he had athelete's foot or something."
The 3 chuckled at the comment before poking their heads out once more to see where in the world they were. The surroundings looked rather desolate, with little trees or vegetation. There was a clump of trees not to far away though, so they decided to make a run for it and regroup there. The 3 climbed out and started to run towards the oasis.
They started in a sprint, hoping to get there as soon as possible. But they realised that the oasis was in fact pretty far... hence they slowed to a fast walk.
"This looks dumb.." Clownz said, swaying his ass from side to side.
"You wanna run? Go ahead..." Chimpzzz replied. Clownz wisely decided against it... after careful consideration of the consequences, such as heavy panting, huge amounts of perpiration and sweat. Such is the thinking of an office worker.. When they finally reached the oasis, with very sore hips, the 3 quickly hid in the bushes.
"Something jus doesn't seem rite." Peter said.
"Yeah... where's everyone... and where da hell are we?" Clownz chipped in.
Suddenly from the back of the oasis, a soft screaming could be heard. "Sounds like you when ZY's chasing u ard man" Chimpzzz said to Peter, trying to break the obvious tension. Peter humoured him with a chuckle, while trying to see what was making the noise. "Hey itz a man!" Through the bushes and shrubs they could see a man running towards them, waving his hands in the air. As he approached they realised he was doing the screaming. It was not anything super shrill, but jus a sustained "Arrrrrghhhhh!!". Still, the group of 3 had their hair standing on end. "Quit rubbing urself against me." Clownz said to Chimpzzz, as his hair stood taller than the rest.
The man showed no signs of letting up, running the whole distance in one breath. "Who's that???" At that moment, the 3 of them realised together that the man was missing something very important indeed. A head. PLUS his hands were replaced by bombs! "Dang, this seems very familiar...." Chimpzzz said, but he couldn't quite place it. The 3 lay in the undergrowth, trying to remember where they had seen this picture before. Suddenly, Peter jumped up. "Hey!! He's coming this way!" In all their careful consideration, the 3 had forgotten a very important fact indeed. The bomber was heading towards them. Immediately, they sprang to their feet and ran in the opposite direction from whence they came. They had taken all of 5 steps out of the oasis, when they were lifted off their feet by the force of the explosion! BOOOOM!!!! "Ohh shiyyaaatTTTTtTT!"
They screamed as they flew through the air, landing in a pile about 20 meters from where they had taken off. As Peter shook his head, trying to regain his senses, he finally realised where they were.
They were on the set of Serious Sam.
To be continued.
For all those that have not played Serious Sam before, here are a few screenshots. http://www.gamecritics.com/feature/preview/serioussam/image02.jpg http://www.seriouszone.com/gallery/ss2?&page=2 And a quick description... Serious Sam is an FPS that does not let up. Plauers are swamped with hordes of enemies, of different kinds, and from air, land and sea. Sounds are everywhere, so u can hear headless bombermen screaming, giant mutant ox trampling and harpies screeching. There's no time to let up on the trigger... so u kinda get the idea.
Today was a special day for Peter. It was time to take his regular dose of False Hopes.. All excited, Peter donned a comfortable muscle-T, along with some loose berms. "Looks pretty gay... but hey, comfort above all else."
So Peter left his home and went to look for the only people who would understand his need for this dosage. Stepping out of his door, his took in a breath of fresh Smeawood Forest air. Ahhh..it was good to be alive... especially this week, since there were 2 public holidays.
"Good morning neighbour!" The Twiddles yelled, stepping out into the sun too, in their sheer negligees. (Ugh. Yes it pained me to say that..becoz it required a mental picture. Ha! Gotcha! You imagined it too!)
"Morning!!" Peter replied as he skipped off down his garden path. He could still see traces of puke from the Family Day drinking competition... Carefully sidestepping the puddles with the grace of a Para Para dancer of Plaza Singapura arcade, Peter managed to keep his new pair of sandals squeaky clean.
Walking down the street, it didn't take the ever-so-fit Peter long to reach his destination. Rapping on the door of the first house, he yelled "Wake up you idiot! I can hear u snoring from here!!!"
A sleepy Chimpzzz open the door, smacking his lips. "Hmmm..is today False Hope day again?" Snoring Chimpzzz asked as he wore his favourite NBS tee. "Yes it is. Quick! Itz already 8am. We still need to get 1 more person." Peter anxiously said, thwacking Chimpzzz on the head for good measure.
They hurriedly made their way to the next house. Screams of "Fire in the HOle" and "Go go go" became louder as they approached. "Sighh..at it again..." Snoring Chimpzzz said "and so fricking early some more." So the 2 tore the Sickly White Clownz away from his game of CS, not without much protest of course.
"You need more sun...u look like a corpse." Peter said.
"I do not! I happen to be a very useful glow in the dark beacon during blackouts!" Clownz protested.
"Whatever...anyway, we're here... up we go!" Chimpzzz said as he proceeded to climb the tree with unusual ease. Peter followed while Clownz rounded it up. They were almost at the top, when Chimpzzz couldn't resist stopping suddenly and allowing Peter to promptly stuff his face into Chimpzzz's ass-crack. After receiving the beating he so deserved, Chimpzzz emerged from the cloud cover.
(Allow me to take this time to describe how the Tree of False Hope works. People who've read Enid Blyton will recognise the blatant rip-off that we're using here, except we've got a way cooler name for it. Anyhooz... there is a land of fantasy at the top of the Tree. Every 24 hours, the land rotates and a new one takes its place. So it you're stuck in that land, then you've gotta wait until it comes back agian, which may never be the case. Now wouldnt' some of you like to be stuck in the Land of Skanks or the Brad Pitt Farm?)
So Chimpzzz emerged from the man-Hole like entrance, only to find himself surrounded by 4 walls of soil. "Hmmm..we seem to be stuck in a rut guys." Chimpzzz said as the other 2 proceeded to pull themselves up. He jumped up and caught the top of 1 side. PUlling his head up, Chimpzzz suddenly saw the sky go dark. He looked up and saw this gigantic foot coming down on him. Immediately, he let go, falling on the other 2. The giant foot came smashing down, covering the hole that the 3 were in completely, before moving off again.
The 3 stunned Smeawood-ians looked at each other, stunned into silence. Peter finally spoke up. "I think he had athelete's foot or something."
The 3 chuckled at the comment before poking their heads out once more to see where in the world they were. The surroundings looked rather desolate, with little trees or vegetation. There was a clump of trees not to far away though, so they decided to make a run for it and regroup there. The 3 climbed out and started to run towards the oasis.
They started in a sprint, hoping to get there as soon as possible. But they realised that the oasis was in fact pretty far... hence they slowed to a fast walk.
"This looks dumb.." Clownz said, swaying his ass from side to side.
"You wanna run? Go ahead..." Chimpzzz replied. Clownz wisely decided against it... after careful consideration of the consequences, such as heavy panting, huge amounts of perpiration and sweat. Such is the thinking of an office worker.. When they finally reached the oasis, with very sore hips, the 3 quickly hid in the bushes.
"Something jus doesn't seem rite." Peter said.
"Yeah... where's everyone... and where da hell are we?" Clownz chipped in.
Suddenly from the back of the oasis, a soft screaming could be heard. "Sounds like you when ZY's chasing u ard man" Chimpzzz said to Peter, trying to break the obvious tension. Peter humoured him with a chuckle, while trying to see what was making the noise. "Hey itz a man!" Through the bushes and shrubs they could see a man running towards them, waving his hands in the air. As he approached they realised he was doing the screaming. It was not anything super shrill, but jus a sustained "Arrrrrghhhhh!!". Still, the group of 3 had their hair standing on end. "Quit rubbing urself against me." Clownz said to Chimpzzz, as his hair stood taller than the rest.
The man showed no signs of letting up, running the whole distance in one breath. "Who's that???" At that moment, the 3 of them realised together that the man was missing something very important indeed. A head. PLUS his hands were replaced by bombs! "Dang, this seems very familiar...." Chimpzzz said, but he couldn't quite place it. The 3 lay in the undergrowth, trying to remember where they had seen this picture before. Suddenly, Peter jumped up. "Hey!! He's coming this way!" In all their careful consideration, the 3 had forgotten a very important fact indeed. The bomber was heading towards them. Immediately, they sprang to their feet and ran in the opposite direction from whence they came. They had taken all of 5 steps out of the oasis, when they were lifted off their feet by the force of the explosion! BOOOOM!!!! "Ohh shiyyaaatTTTTtTT!"
They screamed as they flew through the air, landing in a pile about 20 meters from where they had taken off. As Peter shook his head, trying to regain his senses, he finally realised where they were.
They were on the set of Serious Sam.
To be continued.
For all those that have not played Serious Sam before, here are a few screenshots. http://www.gamecritics.com/feature/preview/serioussam/image02.jpg http://www.seriouszone.com/gallery/ss2?&page=2 And a quick description... Serious Sam is an FPS that does not let up. Plauers are swamped with hordes of enemies, of different kinds, and from air, land and sea. Sounds are everywhere, so u can hear headless bombermen screaming, giant mutant ox trampling and harpies screeching. There's no time to let up on the trigger... so u kinda get the idea.
posted by clownz at 4:33 AM
3 Comments:
Ahaha... expected it to be Serious Sam! an amazing game, too bad my comp was just too laggy... heh
serious sam 2 coming out! hahaha
.... are u serious... i dun believe u all made me play the LAST TIME!!!! hahaha
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